Rare Bird, Inc. | Articles : Iraqi Information Minister

	Web Reviews From 1997 to the present, President/Creative Director, Jim Cota has been writing informative reviews of Web sites and other internet related issues for the Indianapolis Business Journal. If you've missed the articles in print you can catch up on past stories here. Articles are reprinted with permission of the Indianapolis Business Journal, copyright 1997 - 2005, IBJ Corp.

"There is no article here! Never!"

Truly, it was only a matter of time. We were just sitting around the office the other day discussing the unnerving ability of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information, to spin his fantastic yarns in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence. Ben said, "I think it will be funny to revisit these comments when it's all over." Well, someone must have been listening.

Billing themselves as a "a coalition effort of bloodthirsty hawks and ineffectual doves united in admiration" for the Information Minister (whom they lovingly refer to as M.S.S.), the creators of "We Love the Iraqi Information Minister" have gone to great (well, at least some) lengths to record his musings for posterity.

The site features some daily updates that could be confused with news, but are really more of a running account of where M.S.S. might be now. (With tongues firmly tucked into their collective cheeks, the report him as being "on administrative leave.") The most prominent feature of the site — if it could really be called a "site", it's really nothing more than a "page or two" — are the numerous quotes that we've all come to know and love, including M.S.S.'s last known remark, to reporter John Burns of NY Times: "I now inform you that you are too far from reality." I suppose he should know.

Other gems include "There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!", "Who are in control, they are not in control of anything — they don't even control themselves!", and the classic "I blame Al-Jazeera — they are marketing for the Americans!" (I thought so!)

You can read nearly all of his statements here, and I'm sure you'll find your own favorite. In fact, many of the site visitors have submitted additional... uh, content... that lends some credibility and frivolity. Like the postcard from M.S.S. with the Muppets. Or the letter from M.S.S. Or the "separated at birth picture" showing an uncanny likeness to Telly Savalas.

If you still can't get enough, follow the link to buy your very own T-shirt, mousepad, or coffee mug (the mug is boldly emblazoned with the message: "No American will ever pour coffee in a mug! Never!") Be sure see the complete lineup of stars being considered to play M.S.S. in any upcoming Hollywood productions. The current leader appears to be Sydney Pollack, but I wouldn't count out Homer Simpson.

But positively, absolutely, don't miss "M.S.S. Throughout History" to get his unique take on great battles in history. For instance, referring to Normandy: "Americans? What Americans? There are no Americans infidels in France!" And my personal favorite, regarding King Arthur and the Black Knight: "The Black Knight, his name be praised, has slaughtered the infidel Arthur, who is now burning in the pits of Hell. Even as we speak, the Black Knight dines at the round table." For Monty Python fans, picturing the Black Knight on the ground with no arms or legs and declaring victory... Well, the picture is certainly complete.